


You Promised Me Forever

by shelikesthesound



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Drama, Explicit Drug Use, Explicit Language, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-06
Updated: 2012-06-06
Packaged: 2017-11-07 01:48:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/425571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shelikesthesound/pseuds/shelikesthesound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missing moments, outtakes, and other deleted scenes from Forever is a Promise You Keep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Venus In Furs

**Author's Note:**

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> All Banners by DivineInspiration
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> The outtake includes Edward's missing moments between chapters 1 and 2. You'll find out where he was, what he was doing, and who he was with. 
> 
> I am not the owner of Twilight, or any of its respective characters. That honor belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just using them, and I promise I'll return them in pristine condition. Maybe not Edward—he might get a little dirty.

_**EPOV** _

My lips tingled, and I could taste Bella in my mouth as I got into my car. It killed me to leave her when she gave me that sad look, but yet, I still left her every time. It wasn't that I wanted to, or even that I wanted to hurt her—it was just the craving for that next high was stronger.

_I'll admit it—I'm a drug addict._

Becoming a world class screw up wasn't something I had planned, or was even proud of, but it was born out of my need to numb the expectations, sadness, and stress that came with being the son of Carlisle and Esme Cullen. I blamed that, and the fact that my father was an alcoholic, damning my genes to be more susceptible to the evils of addiction than the rest of the population. So it didn't matter how many times she asked me to stay, if drugs were involved, they would always come first.

I'd hoped that Jasper would be ready to go once I got there, because I wanted to keep my promise to Bella for once. I could see in her eyes that the fact I hung out with Jasper so much was becoming a problem. It wasn't that I'd preferred him over her. Instead, it was that he could always find what I was looking for—the reason that kept me tied to him. No matter how dry things were, he was the man that could always find whatever drug you were looking for.

When I pulled up to the curb, Jasper was sitting in front of his apartment building. It was a three-story brick building with large glass windows spanning an entire block. The outside screamed laid back and bohemian, seeming like the perfect place for a dealer to live. Calling him a dealer, however, probably wasn't the best description. He only did business with people who worked with large quantities, so supplier might have been a better word. The fact that Jasper sold drugs at all wasn't known by many people, and it was the one thing I'd kept from Bella. I had promised to tell her everything and to keep no secrets between us. That particular piece of information, though, wasn't something she needed to know. I wanted to keep her as safe from that world as possible. Even so, it made me feel like shit that I had kept it from her.

Jasper stood up when I pulled next to the curb. I rolled down the passenger side window, and he leaned down, placing his hands on the roof of the car. He had a slight smirk on his face—a look that usually meant that I wasn't going to like what he was about to say.

"Hey, man, pull around back. We're taking my car," he said, opening the door and climbing in.

"What the fuck, Jazz? What the hell is going on?" I asked as I drove around to the back of the building.

"I got to make a run to Hoquiam, and I didn't think you'd want to take your car on that trip," Jasper answered. I raised my eyebrow in question, waiting for him to tell me what this trip was about. Normally when he suggested we take his car, it meant one thing; we were going to be picking up large quantities of drugs.

"My guy called and said he had some product I might be interested in," he said.

"Fuck," I whispered.

"What?" Jasper asked.

"You could have told me this shit over the phone, Jazz. It would have saved me a trip because, I would have told you then to go fuck yourself. Do you even know what you interrupted?" I asked.

I was pissed off because this was just the type of shit he pulled all the time. It was getting to the point where I was about to drop him. Yeah, I felt sorry for him for the whole Victoria debacle, but he was starting to come between me and Bella. She was the only person who stuck by me and loved me despite what I put her through. I knew how lucky I was—most girls would have told me to take a hike a long time before. Bella was a rare gem, and I needed to start treating her that way.

Jasper chuckled and shook his head, giving me the impression that he wasn't taking me seriously. I parked the car, got out, and slammed my door. Twenty-two years of friendship was the only reason I didn't punch him in the face. I kept telling myself that he didn't have a girlfriend, so he had no idea what I was going through.

"Hey, man, look…," Jasper began.

"So going to Newton's was a lie then?" I interrupted.

"No, that fucker really did try to put one over on me. Stupid fuck. I called you because I figured you'd get a kick out of making him piss himself. Since you threatened him the last time he hit on Bella, he's been scared shitless of you. You know this. Plus, that was a sight I didn't want to pass up."

I couldn't help but laugh. That jackass followed my girl around like a lost puppy in high school. Before Bella and I got together, I wanted to beat his ass every time he talked to her. When she became my girl, though, he backed off for a while. About a year ago, he grew some balls and asked her out while I was away with Jasper, aiding him in one of his drug runs. When she told me he'd started hitting on her again, I lost my cool. I found that fucker and told him in no uncertain terms to leave her alone or no one would find his body. He got the message that night—my words, or his view from the cliffs in La Push, helped drive my point home.

"After I got off the phone with you, my dude called. I figured that we could just skip Newton and get better shit in Hoquiam," he said, shrugging like it was no big deal.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. Bella was going to be so pissed, but if I was going to do this, I might as well stock up. Hoquiam was home to the big time players, if you didn't want to drive all the way to Seattle.

"Fine," I said. "I'll go with you, but I want to get back as soon as possible. I promised Bella I wouldn't be gone that long, and I intend on keeping that promise."

He shrugged again and nodded his head.

"Sure, man. Whatever," he said.

I climbed into the passenger's seat of Jasper's 1973 Plymouth Duster, wanting to get the shit over with. I was going to do my best to speed the trip along so I could get back home. Jasper was just going to have to understand.

**~.~.~.~**

We pulled up in front of a small house at the end of a small dead end road. It was the kind of neighborhood families prayed to live in, with its low noise and safe-ish feeling. What most people would be shocked to realize was, in the house to the side of me, lived one of the most notorious players in the Washington state drug scene.

Demetri Webster was king in this part of the world. He made his living buying from his connection in Mexico and turning around and selling it to suppliers like Jasper, who in turn hooked up with people who supplied the street dealers. Demetri lived modestly so he wouldn't bring attention to himself. It was smart, and he kept his money in secret locations the cops would never know to look.

His only weakness was his girl, Jane. She was a sweet little thing who was nice to everyone and always made you feel welcome. No one fucked with her because she was genuinely liked, and Demitri would have shoved his Beretta 92FS 9mm in your mouth quicker than you could have said  _I was just kidding_. Dude was huge and someone you didn't want to mess with, but do something to Jane, and it was like signing your death warrant. It wasn't hard for me to like her, because she reminded me of my own girl. She had an innocence about her that was endearing, but she would rip you a new one if she thought you deserved it.

Jasper and I exited the car and walked up the three patio steps toward the door. I knocked and waited for someone to answer before Demetri opened the door, inviting us inside and closing it.

"Hey, what's up, Edward?" Demetri greeted.

"Not much, man," I answered.

"Jasper," he acknowledged, nodding.

"Hey, man," Japer replied.

We stood there awkwardly for a few moments, staring at each other. Demetri rubbed the back of his neck and wore an uncomfortable expression.

"Um, Edward, I need you to do me a huge favor," Demetri began. "The guy that was supposed to bring me Jasper's load flaked on me. We're going to have to go pick it up, and I need you to stay here with Jane because it's just not a good idea to leave her alone right now."

I wrinkled my brow and looked at him with confusion.

"Look, she's tweaking real bad, and I'm afraid she'll do something to herself if she's alone," he admitted. The stress and pain was clear on his face, and I was having a hard time finding a reason to refuse his request. If it was Bella…no, I wasn't going to go there.

"Look, I'll give you some tabs for your trouble. I just need someone to stay while I'm gone. You and Jazz are probably the only ones I'd trust to do this," Demetri explained.

I sighed and nodded my head.  _Fuck. I'm going to be late and break my promise, I just know it_. He smiled and hit me on the shoulder.

'I owe you big time, man. Let me go get that for you real quick, and then we'll be on our way,"

He walked out of the room and disappeared down the hallway to the right of us. I looked at Jasper, who had his head hanging toward the floor. I knew this information was freaking him out as bad as it was me because he liked Jane, too.

When Demetri entered the room after a few minutes, we composed ourselves. It wouldn't have been good to show that we were upset, because it would have pissed Demetri off. Yeah, he was asking me to help out, and he was upset but that was his girl. It was his concern and had nothing to do with us. He handed me a small baggie with a decent amount of white oblong pills.

"She's in the kitchen. Just…keep her busy, okay? I'm hoping she'll tire herself out and get some sleep. If that happens, just help her get to the couch. I'll take care of her when I get back, okay?" he asked.

"Sure, no problem," I said.

"What's she on, if you don't mind me asking?" Jasper questioned carefully.

"Fucking meth," Demetri spat.

I blanched, and was appalled by his statement. It became clear that he really would have done or given her anything she had wanted. My decision to keep Bella away from these people seemed more right by the second.

"Never should have let her have it," Demetri whispered.

I was sure we weren't supposed to hear that bit of information, and we acted like we hadn't. Demetri straightened his features and motioned for Jasper to follow him. With a nod to me, Jasper went out the front door behind Demetri, and then they were gone.

Sighing, I took two pills from the plastic bag and then shoved it into my pocket. I had a feeling I was going to need take some pills when I found Jane.  _Fucking meth_. What the hell was he thinking?

Jane was on her hands and knees when I entered the kitchen. She had a toothbrush in her hand and there was a bucket full of mop water next to her. Using the toothbrush, she was scrubbing the floor furiously. Her light blond hair was tied into a knot on top of her head and the pieces that wouldn't fit framed her face. The concentration was plain by her expression, and she hadn't even noticed my presence.

"Hey, Jane, what are you doing?" I asked.

She jumped and landed flat on her ass. The action made her nudge the bucket, making some of the water slosh out. She cursed and got up quickly.

"I'm sorry I scared you. Hey, let me help," I said.

"Oh, hey, Edward. Yeah, there are some towels in the laundry room," she said as she scowled at the puddle on the floor.

I made quick work of getting the towels from the room off to the side of the kitchen. When I returned, I helped her mop up the water.

"Fuck, now the entire kitchen is contaminated," she whined.

"Um, how? It was just a small puddle," I said.

She huffed and picked at her arm, opening up a scab.

"You don't understand, Edward. There are pesticides everywhere, and we've just made it worse," she explained.

"What?" I asked. I was confused and couldn't figure out what the fuck she was talking about.

"Pesticides, Edward," she continued, talking like she was addressing a small child. "The dirt in the air is mixing with the electricity in the house, creating pesticides that get under your skin. I have to get rid of all of them."

Damn it, I liked Jane, but I was not ready for this level of craziness. I really, really needed to take those tabs upon speaking with her. Walking over to the cabinets, I searched until I found a glass. I turned on the tap and filled it up half way. Then I put the two pills in my mouth, took a large drink, and swallowed it all down. There. With the drugs working their way into my system, where they would be useful, it wouldn't be long until I could handle all the crazy pesticide talk. Well, at the very least, it wouldn't bother me as much.

**~.~.~.~**

An hour later, Jasper and Demetri still weren't back, and Jane had decided all of the electronic appliances were a problem, so she had me moving them all out to the shed. I knew when Demetri got home he was going to be pissed, but I was going to blame Jane. It was a guaranteed way to keep my ass from being kicked.

"Edward!" Jane screeched.

I froze with the microwave in my arms as I was walking out the back door. _Oh holy fuck, what's the problem now?_

"You're walking through the current. You have to jump over it, or you'll stir up the air and make more pesticides."

I closed my eyes and sent out a little prayer. The madness was making me lose my patience and my cool. Everything she had asked me to do I had done, and the next thing I was supposed to do was perform circus tricks while holding heavy appliances? I wanted to cry because I was going to end up breaking something.

"Jane, I'm not sure I can do that. Can't I just step over it or something?" _Please go with it, Jane. You're killing me here_.

"Fine," she said with a huff. "Just be careful or we're going to have to clean the entire kitchen again."

_Of course we fucking are. It's not like I have anything better to do today._

I raised my leg up and stepped over the threshold and went outside. I walked until I was inside the small shed and set the microwave on top of a table in the middle. There were different electronic devices all around, ranging from the stereo to Jane's laptop.

I let out a frustrated scream into the open air, hoping to purge the feelings inside of me. I wanted to kick Demetri in the head badly because it was his fault Jane was acting like she belonged inside of a mental institution. For the millionth time since he'd told me, I wondered what had possessed him to let her start taking meth. Any idiot knew it made you crazy, yet he let her have it without a second thought. If I had been in that situation, I would have flushed that shit down the toilet and yelled at Bella for hours. No way would I let something like that happen to my girl. I would rather have her hate me and kick me out than watch her go through something like what Jane was going through.

My eyes closed, and I let a few deep breaths fill my lungs, trying to calm down. Jane didn't deserve to deal with my anger, so I tried to push it down. Yelling and beating up Demetri would only get me killed. I needed to get back to Bella and hold her in my arms, making me forget all of the shit like only she could.

**~.~.~.~**

After twenty minutes of begging and pleading, I convinced Jane to sit down and relax. I had to sweep the couch and lay a freshly washed cover over it before she would comply. It was worth doing the work, though, because she was slowly starting to tire out after she had stretched out on it. I was relieved she was finally succumbing to her exhaustion, and I felt like I could take it easy.

I was starting to wonder what was taking so long as I watched some TV. It was the only electric device I could talk Jane out of storing outside. I reasoned that Demetri would be upset if he missed his Ultimate Fighting shows. Not to mention, I'd told her that the television produced the least amount of electricity, thus creating the least amount of pesticides. It was complete bullshit, but it placated her enough for me to have something to do when she crashed.

I realized as I changed the channel that I had been here for a total of two hours. Hope that Jasper and Demetri were ever coming back was vanishing as each new second passed. I was going to be stuck there with Jane's meth induced craziness, and I would never see my Bella again.

_Christ, Edward, pull yourself together. Dramatic much?_

Okay, so maybe I was taking things a little too far, but it was way past time for me to be back. Bella was going to have my balls. I would've called her, but I was afraid Jane would wake up, and Bella would've heard her in the background. If she had heard Jane, there was no way I could have talked my way out of that fuckery. My girl would have thought I was cheating, and it all would have been over. No, calling was not an option.

Jasper was going to be a dead man when he returned.

I grabbed the bag out of my pocket and took out three more pills. I needed them to help calm the anger aimed at Jasper. Picking up the glass next to me, I tossed the pills into my mouth and took a big gulp, swallowing it all. Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the chair I was sitting in and waited for them to take effect.

**~.~.~.~**

The sound of footsteps jolted me awake, and I was confused as to where I was for a moment. Then I remembered—I was at Demetri's place. I looked around and saw Jasper standing over me.

"C'mon, man, we need to get out of here," he demanded.

I stretched and gave him a perplexed look. He had been gone for—I raised my arm up and checked my watch—three fucking hours, and he wanted me to hurry up  _right this minute_. Not really in the mood to deal with his shit after the day I'd had, I stood up and pushed past him in search of Demitri. I had not gone all the way to Hoquiam to not get what I'd come for.

Demetri was in the kitchen making a sandwich and looked up when I entered the room.

"Hey, man. I wanted to get a couple of other things while I was here. Sorry to disturb you," I said.

"Sure," he said as he put the sandwich down and led the way to the back of the house. Inside the guest bedroom, there were different kinds of drugs, all packaged for sale.

"So, what did you need?"

I listed off the different things I needed, including Bella's bag. That particular item was a must, especially since I had pretty much bailed on her for the day.

"No charge," he said as I pulled out my wallet. "You took care of my girl today, and that's my way of saying thanks."

Well, hell, I wasn't going to argue with the man. Sure, I had the money, but free was free. I wasn't going to throw his gift back in his face. I said my thanks and started to walk back out to Jasper.

"Oh, one more thing," Demetri said. "Where in the hell is all my stuff?"

I chuckled. "It's out in the shed, Dem. Jane thought they were creating more pesticides and..."

"Say no more," he replied with a wave of his hand. "I understand."

I left him and went to find Jasper. He wasn't in the house, so I took my search outside and found him sitting in his car. He was agitated, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. When I got in the car, he let out a sigh and pulled away from the house.

Conversation was light and was focused on what Jasper had been doing for the past three hours. The guy they wanted to buy from tried to screw Demetri out of a promised price, and he had to convince him otherwise with his firearm. Luckily, things got better from that point on, and the guy decided it was in his best interest to not mess with Demetri.

It was all the same bullshit Jasper found himself in regularly. At times, I wondered how the poor bastard was still living, but I guessed he had nine lives or something. I tended to stay away from the actual buying part. I had a girl at home, and I really wanted to live so I could see her.

"So, what now?" Jasper asked.

I shot him an incredulous look. "What now?" I seethed. "I'll tell you  _what now_ , mother fucker. I am going home, and I'm going to try to convince my girl not to cut off my balls. I get that you ran into problems, but that shit made me break a promise. I'm tired of disappointing her all the damn time, Jasper."

He rolled his eyes. "All right, then. We're going to your place. Fuck, man, that was all you had to say."

**~.~.~.~**

I parked my car in our driveway and walked up toward the house. Jasper pulled in behind me, got out, and followed me up. I knew that he would come over, because he always did. I believed he was lonely, and he really needed a girlfriend. A thought crossed my mind, and it didn't sound too bad. Maybe Bella could suggest someone that he could date. She was a sensible girl who knew sensible people, and God knew Jasper needed that in his life.

I entered the house and didn't see Bella anywhere, so I sat down and decided to watch some TV. Jasper joined me and we became engrossed in some show on the History Channel. Honestly, I loved this kind of shit. Some of those programs were fascinating, and I found myself bugging my girl all the time with random facts I'd learned off there. It kind of pissed her off at times, but I couldn't help myself. I was a dumbass, but it was nice sometimes to sound smart.

Sometime later, Bella appeared from the back of the house. Just the sight of her caused me to break out into a huge grin. God, I'd missed her beautiful face. When I looked at her closer, I could see she was beyond pissed, and it looked like she had been crying. My heart ached, knowing her tears were my fault.

_Fuck_.

I was going to have to fix things because there was no way I could let her go without a fight.


	2. Like A Rolling Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [ ](http://s1096.photobucket.com/albums/g340/shelikesthesound/FISPYK%20pics/?action=view&current=DrugsperOuttake.jpg)
> 
> Jasper's point of view of the day Edward falls off the car in Chapter 5 of Forever is a Promise You Keep. What he thought, where he was, and what exactly happened during that missing time.

"Son, can you tell me what happened?" the officer asked.

I closed my eyes.  _God, what a colossal fuck up this has turned out to be_. One minute Edward and I were on the car, and the next, I was sitting on a curb talking to a police officer. I tried to think quickly as to whether or not I had anything on me that would get me in more trouble if I was arrested. I rubbed my hands across my pockets, pretending to wipe the sweat from them, and found there was nothing.

 _Whew. That's all I need right now—to be locked up on top of everything else that's going on_.

"Sir," the officer said, trying to get my attention.

"Oh, sorry…" I said.

"I understand if you are in shock, but I need to know what happened," he said, leaving no room for argument.

I took a deep breath and tried to tell him as much as I could, leaving out the parts that would get Edward in trouble.

~.~.~.~

(One hour before)

" _Goddamn it!" Edward screamed, walking outside and slamming the front door._

_I was standing next to Edward's car, about to light up. He looked like a madman coming down the front steps toward me. His face was red, his shoulders tense, and he had a crazy look in his eye._

" _Hey, man, what's going on?" I asked as he walked over to me._

" _She's fucking leaving me!" he yelled, pulling his hair. "What am I going to do? Bella can't leave! I won't allow it!"_

" _Whoa, man, calm down. Tell me what happened," I said._

_He took a deep breath. "She said she couldn't handle me taking off all the time or the drugs anymore. Christ, Jazz, what about rehab, huh? What happens when I leave her for thirty days? I have to go back in there and make her see."_

_I grabbed his arm as he started back toward the house. He jerked it away, giving me a murderous glare._

" _Wait, Edward," I said in a calm voice. "Let's just go back to your house, chill, and calm down. She'll be there later, and then you can talk this out."_

_I really wanted him to come with me, because if he went back into his parents' house, he was going to make things worse. I don't know what had happened, but it had to have been bad for Bella to end things with him._

" _Yeah, I'm going to get fucked up. I can't deal with this shit," he whispered brokenly._

_I closed my eyes, having a hard time looking at the pain on Edward's face. I had always envied him, but in that moment, I was glad I wasn't Edward. When Bella had first come into our lives all those years ago, I knew she'd captured him the moment he laid eyes on her. Watching them together had made me realize just how alone I was, and seeing Edward fall apart in front of me scared me. If he couldn't keep the one girl that was obviously meant for him, what fucking chance did I have?_

" _Look, maybe if you just sleep it off, things will be better when she gets home. Drop me off so I can get my car, and then the two of you can work this out when you wake up. I'm sure Bella will change her mind once you tell her what you're thinking of doing," I advised._

_He blew out a breath. "Okay, let's go," he said._

_We walked to the car side by side. I punched Edward's shoulder in a friendly gesture. He smiled weakly, returning it. Steps from the doors—we saw Alice walk out of the house._

" _God, I can't believe you!" Alice yelled, stomping over toward us. "How could you, Edward? Is it too much to ask that you show up at our parents' house sober?"_

_Edward stiffened, turning toward his sister. "I don't know, Alice," Edward said, sneering. "Is it too much to ask that you stay out of things that don't concern you?"_

_They stared each other down for a few moments, and I took the time to really look at Alice. She was dressed impeccably, as usual. Nothing was out of place, and she wore the latest fashion—like she always did. The top she wore accentuated her perky breasts, and the rest of the outfit complimented her slight curves. I ached, looking at her._

_I had tried for years to catch her attention but it fell flat. She was an ice queen, impervious to my attempts at flirtation and seduction. I had assumed that a lot of her indifference had to do with my drug use. Edward had been lucky in finding Bella, an angel that was willing to overlook his faults—well, until that afternoon._

" _Well, you're obviously not concerned about Bella, so someone has to be," she said._

" _Fuck you, Alice. You have no idea what you're talking about. I'm always concerned about Bella," he spat._

_Alice chuckled darkly. "You could have fooled me. So, I'm curious…how concerned are you when you're gallivanting off to God knows where with your buddy, huh? Or how much do you care when you're fucking one of your whores?"_

" _Goddamn it!" Edward yelled. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm not cheating on her? I go out, get high, and come back home. That's it. I've never been unfaithful to her."_

_Edward was breathing heavily and his face had turned red. I could tell he was about to blow just by looking at him._

" _Come on, man. Let's go," I said, hoping he'd listen. All we needed was for the two of them to get into one of their legendary fights. I knew that if that happened, it probably wouldn't help his case with Bella. He'd do something, or say something, that he couldn't take back. I was determined that one of us was going to be happy, no matter what it took._

_He turned away from her and went toward the car again._

" _I am glad that, finally, one of you has come to your senses. Although, that probably won't last. Bella will probably take you back, because she's stupid and weak. And, well, you're an asshole, so I guess you guys are perfect for each other," Alice called out, getting into her car._

_Before she was finished with her comment, Edward was jogging toward her. I raced after him, wondering what he was going to do. As Alice had said her piece, I had watched Edward's face and noticed the moment he'd snapped. Edward never could handle people talking bad about his girl, and it was Alice's words about Bella that had been the proverbial thrown gauntlet._

" _Get out of the fucking car now, Alice!" Edward yelled, pounding on the glass._

" _No, you bastard. Get away from my car," Alice screeched._

_I hopped on the hood on the passenger's side, trying to get her attention. I listened as she started the engine._

" _What are you doing?" Edward asked me._

" _You had your fun. Now it's my turn to piss Alice off," I said. If I couldn't get her to notice me by being nice, maybe acting like the asshole she always accused me of being would do it._

_He smiled. "Oh, yeah. Let's piss off Alice."_

_He jumped up on her side, and we could hear her screaming at us to get off. When we didn't, she pulled out of the driveway._

Yes, _I thought_. This should be fun _._

~.~.~.~

"…and then when she stopped, he fell off the car. It was like one minute he was there and the next he wasn't," I whispered.

"Okay, I think we have everything. Now, we can take you to the hospital if you'd like and get that knee checked out," the officer said.

"Um, yeah, okay," I stated. I was lost in a fog.

I zoned out as I was loaded into the back of an ambulance, similar to the one they had taken Edward away in moments before. The look on his face as he was falling off the car, before he disappeared from my line of sight, had been one of pure panic. It was like he'd known something fucked up was about to happen. Those eyes would haunt me for the rest of my life.

As I came back to myself, I noticed I was in a small room. I was lying on a gurney and the room was cold. It only took seconds for me to realize I'd spaced out for the entire trip to the emergency room. My knee throbbed, making me wish someone would get in there already. I wondered, as I lay there, if Edward was faring better than I was.

The entire ER visit took four hours. For four fucking hours, I waited, was prodded, poked, X-rayed, told my knee was bruised, and sent on my way. The only good thing that came out of it was the prescription for some tabs. They were the weak kind, but pain pills were pain pills. I could still get high off of them.

I called my mom, and she came and picked me up. At first, she was pissed that I hadn't called her and told her I had gone to the hospital. After I had explained things to her, though, she hit me in the back of the head, told me that I needed to go to rehab myself, and started worrying about Esme, Edward, and Bella.

She dropped me off at my apartment and left, mumbling about trying to get a hold of Esme. Edward's mother and mine had been friends forever, and I knew that it was killing her not knowing what was going on. I let that thought trail off as I limped up the steps toward my door. The only thing I wanted to do at the moment was get fucked up enough to forget about the day. Enough bad things had happened—I didn't think I could take any more. I figured Edward would call me when he sobered up and was let out, and then I'd know what had happened.

I pulled out the bottle of Jack and poured a couple of pills into my hand. Throwing the pills into my mouth and taking a swig of the bourbon, I lay down on my bed. I waited for sweet oblivion to engulf me.

~.~.~.~

It was pitch black when I regained consciousness. I had no idea how much time had passed or what day it was. I looked over at the clock, seeing it was three in the morning. Stretching, I reached over for the TV remote and hoped I could find out the day next.

Dropping off into a drug induced slumber was frightening at times, never knowing when or how you were going to wake up. There were times when I'd come down that I would swear I'd been out for a couple of days, and it really had only been hours. The worst ones, though, were when I had been right about losing days. I had scared Edward to death a couple of times when I hadn't answered his calls. He had been sure that I'd overdosed and he was going to have to say goodbye to his friend. It was the risk we always took when we partied.

I was the one that always took things too far, ingesting as many different types of chemicals as I could to see what kind of high I could get. Edward was the one who knew what he liked and stuck to it. Needles bothered him, so he didn't shoot up. I did, sometimes, because I knew the high would come quicker. However, we fed each other's addictions. It was like a contest to see how much we could get into our systems and still function. I knew it was messed up, but once I was high, nothing else mattered.

I stretched and decided to get out of bed. I'd only been asleep for a few hours, so I needed to find something to knock me out again. I had runs to make later that day, and I had to be well rested. Being alert was important in my line of work.

I found the bourbon, deciding to finish off the half-filled bottle. It wasn't what I wanted, but it would do. I could get into something a little more desirable later.

~.~.~.~

"…so this dude gives me attitude, and you know me, I couldn't let it go. I knocked his ass out."

I rolled my eyes while I was looking out of the passenger's side window. _Fucking Alec_. I'd had to call one of my customers to come pick me up. I hadn't heard from Edward that morning, so I was left to find another way to get my car from his house. Alec owed me some money, and I knew that if I told him I'd knock some of it off if he'd do me a favor, he'd do it. Alec was always looking for a way to get his drugs without paying for them.

We pulled into Edward's driveway, and I saw that his car was still gone. _Huh. I guess he is still at the hospital, or Bella had brought him home and he was inside sleeping it off_.

Alec parked on the road next to the curb.

"Hey, thanks man," I said, getting out of the car.

"Jasper," Alec called out.

I turned back toward him, waiting.

"So, fifty bucks off of what I owe you, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, man. Fifty bucks. See ya," I said.

"Cool. See ya later," he said. I slammed the door shut, and he drove off. _Fuck. I hate dealing with Alec_.

I walked up the driveway and noticed for the first time that Bella's car was missing, too. Edward's car being gone wasn't anything to worry about. There had been many times he'd gotten so fucked up, we'd had to call Bella to come get him. The only time we could get his keys away from him was when he was when he was too high to function. Her car being gone was something else entirely. I knew that if she wasn't home then neither was Edward. He had been hurt pretty bad yesterday, so I knew she wouldn't leave him alone for anything.

A sick feeling grew in the pit of my stomach, and I began to wonder if, maybe, things had been worse than I'd thought. If Edward had been sober by morning, he'd have insisted that Bella bring him home. It was no secret that the man hated hospitals. When I reached my car, I made the snap decision to go see his parents. If anyone knew what was going on, they would.

On the drive over, I tried not to think about Edward. I didn't want to drive myself nuts with what could have happened. His dad was a doctor—Carlisle would give it to me straight. Once I knew what was going on, then I could freak out.

 _Fuck, this is all my fault. My need to get Alice's attention screwed everything up. If Edward is seriously hurt, there is no way I can ever look Bella in the eye again_.

I pulled up to the house, noticing Alice's car.  _Of course the object of my eternal love and torture would be here_.

I parked, got out the car, and went up to the door. Taking a deep breath, I grew some balls and knocked on the door. I figured I'd ignore Alice's presence and find out the facts.

That hope was dashed when she answered the door. A look of confusion crossed her face before she shook it off and let me in. I asked her where her parents were as I followed behind her, trying to not stare at her ass. Trying and failing, I might add. She mentioned they were at the hospital with Bella.

"What do you mean,  _still at the hospital with Bella_? Isn't he sober and threatening the staff yet?" I asked, sitting down. She sat on the opposite side, looking down at her lap.

"Um, Dad just called a moment ago. It's bad, Jasper. He said something about a head injury and Edward being totally out of it. I'm staying with him tonight, but…I don't know," she whispered.

I rubbed my hand through my hair. Alice looked over at me with tears in her eyes, and I couldn't help myself. I went over to her, wrapping my arms around her. She buried her head into my shoulder and cried.

"Hey, it'll be all right. He'll be fine," I said. I didn't know who I was trying to convince more—her or myself.

"Why did this happen, Jasper?" she asked.

It killed me that I didn't have the answer she wanted. Even though Alice and Edward fought all of the time, there was no denying in that moment that she loved her brother. I wanted to reassure her and tell her everything was going to be fine, but I didn't have the specifics. I was aware that saying anything like that might be a lie, and I couldn't do that to Alice.

"I don't know," I answered. It was the most honest thing I could think of.

As I held her, I wanted to tell her how I felt. It wasn't the right time, though, and I knew it. Fighting against my feelings, I tried to give her some comfort. We sat like that for an undetermined amount of time.

"Why did he choose the drugs over us?" Alice asked after we'd been silent for a long time. "Did we really treat him bad enough for him to hate us?"

Fuck. I couldn't answer that. It wasn't my place, and I had no idea how he really felt. We didn't get that deep because neither of us was comfortable talking about feelings.

"Why don't you ask Bella?" I suggested. "I'm sure he's told her. He never talks about that kind of stuff with me."

She scoffed. "I'm not sure she'd tell me, Jasper. I'm sure she'd give me some shit about not wanting to betray him or whatever."

"Yeah, she probably would," I admitted. Bella had always been loyal to Edward—she probably wouldn't give Alice the answers she was looking for.

"You know what makes me mad, though?" she asked, scooting away from me. I felt cold as she left my embrace, trying not to show how it upset me while she was putting space between us.

"She's only there because Dad talked her into it. It just proves that she never gave a damn about him."

Her words shocked me. If anything, Bella had always seemed to care about Edward. I wondered where her belief was coming from. Alice had always seemed to care about Bella, even if she did tell her she should leave Edward. It was no secret that she wasn't a fan of Bella's relationship with her brother. Alice was always trying to talk Bella into "growing a backbone," as she put it.

"I don't think that's true, Alice," I said. "She cares about him; I think she was just fed up with how she was treated. Why else would she have stayed so long?"

She sighed. "You're probably right. It's just, how are we going to deal with him when she's gone? He acts like we're out to get him, and all we want to do is protect him."

I didn't comment, because I didn't know what to say. I wasn't privy to how his family felt about him—I'd only heard second hand what happened to cause Edward to drift away from his family.

"He was going to go to rehab," I said.

Alice froze and looked at me.

"What?" she asked.

"Um, he wanted to get clean for Bella. He knew it was only a matter of time before Bella left him. She was tired of him disappearing, and he knew he had to do something."

"That bitch," Alice said. "How could she? If she hadn't pissed him off, he'd be somewhere right now getting better."

She stood up and walked out of the room. I followed her into the kitchen, watching her slam things around.

"She didn't know about him going to rehab," I said. I was beginning to regret telling Alice. In truth, it has slipped out. I hadn't meant to tell her, especially when Bella didn't even know, but the damage had been done.

"I don't give a fuck. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be in a hospital bed, fighting for his life. God, what a selfish bitch," she fumed.

"You've been trying to get her to get away from him for years," I pointed out.

"Yes, because I was worried about her. I knew it was hurting her when my dick of a brother was ditching her for you," she said. I flinched with her words, knowing I was a big part of the problem in their relationship. "But I never said she had to push him to the edge. What was she trying to accomplish?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off.

"No, Jasper, this is her fault. I don't care what you say," Alice stated.

I slumped my shoulders in defeat, watching her go from sad to pissed. _And…I fucked things up once again. Is there no end to the amount of suffering I can cause?_

She leaned on the counter, looking lost in thought. I hung my head in shame, knowing that whatever she was thinking about had to do with the information I'd given her. Things were about to get ugly, because I knew how vindictive Alice could be, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Once she got an idea in her head, there was no stopping her.

"Do you think…?" Alice started. "That you'd, um, ever stop for the right person?"

Her words stopped me short, and I looked her in the eyes. I didn't dare hope, because nothing ever worked out for me. I had fallen in love with Alice, and she'd cast me aside. Then I'd found another girl I could see myself loving, and she had turned out to be a man in disguise. Heartache clung to me like a bad rash, and nothing ever went the way it should for me.

"I don't know," I whispered.

"You have to know I care about you," Alice muttered. "I'm not Bella, though. I refuse to be a doormat and let you walk all over me. However, what's happened has put things into perspective for me. I want to have something with you, but I'm scared, Jasper."

I walked over to her, grabbing her chin and pulling it upward. The look in her eyes told me everything I needed to know. She did want me, possibly loved me even, but she wasn't going to give me what I wanted until I gave it all up. Could I do it? Walk away from the lifestyle and my only source of income? Would it be worth it to surrender to Alice's demands?

Staring into her eyes, I knew it would. Giving Alice my promise to quit and following through was my key to the kind of love I had seen between Bella and Edward. I knew I didn't deserve it, but God, I wanted it.

"Okay," I said.

"Okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, okay. You don't know how long I've wanted to hear those words from you. I love you, Alice. I'd do anything for you, and if you're willing to give us a chance, I'll do whatever it takes to make it happen," I admitted.

She smiled with tears in her eyes.

"There are some things you should know, though. I'm not just a user. I also sell, and I have some product I have to unload before I can get out of this completely. Otherwise, there will be some pretty mean and nasty people after me. Can you give me a day or two to get rid of it? I swear this is it. Once I get it sold, I'm done. I'll go to rehab, quit cold turkey, or whatever you want," I promised. I was serious. I was going to do whatever I could to make this happen.

She looked down, twisting her fingers. I waited for her to give me an answer, probably the most important answer of my life. My entire happiness was tied to her decision, and I wasn't sure if I would survive if she told me that I couldn't take care of some loose ends.

"No more than two days?" she asked with trepidation.

"I swear to you, if I can't find someone to take it off my hands in that time, I'll torch the shit and deal with the consequences. I want you more than I want to live," I said.

She chuckled. "I don't think it will come to that, but we'll think of something."

I smiled at her, wondering what would happen. What I wanted to do was kiss her, hug her, and never let her go. Instead, I stood there like a fucking fool with his hands in his pockets. I was unsure how she would take my affections. Yes, we'd decided to start something, but I was still technically a fucking addict. I didn't know if I was allowed to touch her yet, or if I had to wait until I was officially sober.

"Well, I should probably get ready to go," she said. "I'm supposed to be there at six. God, I hope Bella isn't there. I don't think I can deal with her right now."

"Look, Alice…" I started.

"Jasper, please don't defend her. She was wrong and now my brother is in bad shape. I just can't take anyone coming to her defense," she admitted.

I let it go, still pissed at myself.

"Come here," she said, beckoning me over to her. She grabbed a hold of me when I got close and hugged me tight. I closed my eyes, relishing her touch. I had always imagined what it would feel like if she willingly embraced me, but the fantasy wasn't even close.

"Thank you, Jasper," she muttered.

"For what?" I asked.

"For loving me enough," she said simply.

I let go of her and looked into her eyes. My future was in there, and I wasn't going to fuck this up. I told her goodbye and promised to keep her informed with what I was doing. I had learned from Edward. There was no way I was keeping Alice in the dark about my dealings. It would only be something to come between us later on, and I didn't want the trust issues my best friend had dealt with in his own relationship.

As I drove away, I began to compile a mental list of all the people I could think of that would buy from me. I still had a good amount of drugs left to sell, and I needed to unload them quick.

For the first time in my life, I felt like things were finally coming together for me. I felt bad for Edward, but I had to believe that it would all work out for him. There were a few obstacles in my way that had to be dealt with, but I was confident I could resolve them. I had a smile on my face as I pulled up to my apartment building. I was ready to start my happily ever after.


End file.
